Things They Take Away

I know that his relations were projections of my own perversions,
that her assessments were figments of my own imagination.
I know I needed to scream, “No,” at all given moments,
and that hoops to jump through were black and white though changing every day.

I know that boys own the language, and smiles mean, “Come hither,”
that eye contact means, “I promise,” and that what I mean means nothing.
I know my words are confusing, my affection is toxic, 
my friendship seducing, and that my heart is destructive.
I know that they can’t help their love, and that on connection, I should give up
and wrap my strengths and eyelashes in something wet and cold.

But I know that he moved on 
without me making him respect his own boundaries, which were never my own.
I knew I was never responsible for what I couldn’t do.

I just don’t know where my sexuality ends and where I begin.
I don’t know what it means to flirt, entice, or to be kind.
I don’t know what they left for me to use to maneuver,
define, communicate, transport, or identify.

I’ve always known who the oil spills of the world are,
the stomps, the splashes of water, the douses of gasoline.
I’ve known that, whether someone’s touch stokes, dampens, 
or suffocates flames,
when they touch me, I feel my own body, how it’s on fire.
I know the soul’s coals never grow cold once you catch fire.

16 thoughts on “Things They Take Away

  1. Yes indeed! You have a gift. You have a way to express goodness even out of the darkness, and this … is the kind of poetry that grabs me. I love, I like, and I love, again. Brilliant and well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I try to articulate the good everywhere, even midst badness, but I also always say that if you can simply describe badness accurately, then you can not only express peoples’ experiences, but you can SHOW how bad the badness is, when people might not otherwise see it, and in doing so, you show truth, and then in showing truth, you inevitably show goodness.
      Censorship is everywhere, but I try to get better at defying it as I age. 🙂
      So anyways, this particular compliment really resonates with me and affirms me! So thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, this makes me happy to see you mature as a very well-versed poet! Remember, our experiences whether good or bad all will lead you to very profound compositions of prose and poetry. I wish you well and cannot wait to read more of your work. You are extremely talented and use the gift of verbiage and nouns very, very well … add experience, and you stun your readers.

        Liked by 1 person

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