fights with you in her dreams/keeps on waiting for a sign/regrets you all the time (Reaction to Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner)

The first time I screamed,
I stopped when I felt guilty.

The sixteenth time, I stopped
when I felt like I’d gone mad.

The hundredth time, I screamed ’til I felt
I’d shown myself to be too insane to come back from it,

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Legends

A.

What makes a monster?

Whether having hooves or claws?
Or the mere look in their eyes?

The story’s been told. Heroes know
what becomes of monsters.

Nobody wants to believe
that humans are monstrous.



B.

When you sink your teeth into my soul,
my emotions
haunt me like ghosts-

Wounds alive,
invisible

to those who don’t believe
in magic,

on a loop,
tangible,

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Things They Take Away

I know that his relations were projections of my own perversions,
that her assessments were figments of my own imagination.
I know I needed to scream, “No,” at all given moments,
and that hoops to jump through were black and white though changing every day.

I know that boys own the language, and smiles mean, “Come hither,”
that eye contact means, “I promise,” and that what I mean means nothing.
I know my words are confusing, my affection is toxic, 
my friendship seducing, and that my heart is destructive.
I know that they can’t help their love, and that on connection, I should give up
and wrap my strengths and eyelashes in something wet and cold.

But I know that he moved on 
without me making him respect his own boundaries, which were never my own.
I knew I was never responsible for what I couldn’t do.

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