You think I’m being emotional, (and I am going to use the word “but”,
but don’t stop listening) but when I start to repeat myself,
it’s because I don’t think you understand. And you don’t think I understand
that you do, but the times I repeat myself are the times that you think I’m emotional-
that I’m saying something that makes sense but doesn’t really matter.
Guess you don’t understand, or you wouldn’t need me to tell you why it does-
what it means. I am emotional. Emotions and reason don’t separate-
They’re overflow of truth and life, and if you’d lived my life you’d know,
and I could spell it out for you- do that thing I’ve done and will
again, but one of the signs of the fact that it matters
is trauma, this emotional thing that you’d think a story could best convey.
You see- a Perspective is not an argument! But I cannot violate
my heart by pouring it out to you when you don’t care.
It is uncomfortable. And it is already violated. That’s what I’m trying
to tell you about. You should know it’s a moving tale- you’re complaining that
I’m moved. But you have not budged. By emotional, you mean crazy. I’d choose
silence if I could, but- Emotions, trauma. Reasons, baiting, probing, trying!
I understand redundancy’s no maker of tales! When I resort to repeating myself,
it’s because you’re not listening.

9 thoughts on “Trust

    • Thank you very much!
      It’s funny- There’s a very wide variety of things people might call me online based off my name or handle or whatever- alphabetravine, Lydia, LRB, etc. But my dad and one college best friend are the only people to have ever latched on to L-Rae. (It’s what I said I’d go by if I became a rapper 😉 ) So when I read your comment, it sounded so familiar- I was like, “Wait, that’s? No, that’s not my dad!” haha. Definitely feel free to keep using lrae, though! I’m fond of it.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Dead Even (riffing Lydia Rae Bush’s “Trust”

    I was once commissioned to write a eulogy
    for someone outside my circle of friends;
    someone theretofore not introduced to me.
    That is where this unlikely tale begins.

    I set about to research, delve and toil,
    what made this person’s world go around?
    No secrets needed to go ‘neath the soil;
    better to serve, spun above the ground.

    “Through it all,” works. “She meant well.”
    Affirmation nodding, means well received.
    Nodding off is not an acceptable dwell.
    Surely the part of well meaning believed.

    Might I be redundant? Do I repeat myself?
    Do I say same things over and over again?
    Placing tried and true back on the shelf;
    timing is not a matter of what, but when.

    Let’s reverse roles before speaking aloud,
    imagining it is me, occupying box of pine,
    I’d expect you to step up and do me proud,
    I cannot envision anyone else to consign.

    A perfect eulogy, no matter who renders,
    one where all patrons keep straight face,
    takes no chance we see smiles on senders.
    Sorrow’s to be shown by all in this place.

    Perhaps we should form a tandem, for hire.
    providing eulogies on call, for a modest fee?
    Notion is deadly, us joining to conspire;
    you commence, and I will close the decree.

    For all said, you have my full attention
    I have to wonder, just how does that feel?
    You sidled in, displaying apprehension,
    and departed with a new partner in the deal.

    MIchael Todd (2018)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just a little note here… I don’t really have a WordPress account.

    I have this…

    and this…

    Let me know if you approve of my little riffing poem. If so, I would like to share this post with some friends. It is entirely up to you, how that plays out… oh, and in case you wondered, how I came to land at your doorstep, that is all on Eugenia Hoffman. Isn’t she wonderful?


    • Hi Michael, yes, Eugenia is great! I’m glad to connect with you. It’s always great to have someone really interacting with one’s work.
      I’d love for you to link to my poem or “reference/cite” me when sharing yours, but share away! Thanks for asking.
      (On another note, if the last two stanzas of your poem are addressing me, I need more clarification on them.)
      All the best!


      • Well, that was all a made up tale with intermingling circumstances, where first one of us is the eulogy writer, then the other, and in the final sets of stanzas, we partner up to write them for others…
        Pretty twisted notion, eh? I suppose. I based that inspiration on the time a fellow died, who was not well thought of, in the community. When people were gathered around, discussing the plans for the farewell party, someone said, “They will probably have to pay someone to sing at his funeral.”

        Now you know. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I gotcha now! I see where the second person came in now. Cool poem! Cool inspiration behind it too. It’s fun to see where poetic inspiration ends up.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s