The Plus-One

I know about happiness; We’ve met.
We just don’t get alone time-
Anxiety’s name is “, but”. I don’t do simple sentences.

I know Anxiety so well that I don’t have to see its face-
No matter how fast I spin, it’s always a hair’s breadth from my sight.

But I know it’s there. It breathes down the right side of my neck.
It’s got a chokehold. And trust me- When you’re that intimate with somebody else,
you don’t have time to get to know Happy very well.

Anxiety gave me all two of its grey hands in marriage.
Both arms come ‘round my neck. One holds a knife-

It whispers bedtime stories of what happens to good girls who run away;
It sings me lullabies of how I’m in such control,
how with it in my power I can always catch what I might need to know

in this world where none is trustworthy so I am unsafe- None but Anxiety,
this lifeline. So I can let it lead me, I can drift to sleep-

Live my life inside Anxiety’s dream.

6 thoughts on “The Plus-One

  1. This is visceral! I can see the grey hands, I can feel the grip, I sense the knife. It is an all too familiar place for many. A remote island only seen on rare occasion for others when passing by.

    I pray I don’t go there again and that you too are free(d) from its grip.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 😀 Thank you! I’m glad it resonates with you, given that you’re someone who it SHOULD resonate with. LOL


  2. Having been through this when coming off of one medicine and waiting to find the better one, I am amazed how many times the feelings of anxiety or panic are completely unrelated to our “attitude” or “perspective”. “You just need to get a grip.” NOT possible when the chemicals or lack thereof are floating through your brain. It is NOT that you are a weak person. It is NOT that you are wallowing in your misery. Though there are times when we do. For sure. But for as many times as we CHOOSE to wallow; we CHOOSE to focus on the bad, there are times when the choice is NOT ours. We need help and it is not because we are somehow not strong enough to rise above. The mind is a fascinating place where hormones and caffeine and dopamine and serotonin have their way. Addiction, fear. panic and depression can be slayed with a better balance. As quickly as the rains fell on you, the sky can be blue, the birds fly, and life is good once more. If anxiety is winning the war with you, run, do not walk, and find a doctor who can help you balance the brain. You can be free. Don’t give in. Get help. Getting help takes strength! It is not weakness. You are worth the effort. Go.

    Liked by 1 person

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