When You Leave

You will relax into the safety. Your biological rhythms will sort themselves out. 
You will become so happy. You’ll gush with excitement
then begin to see how strange it sounds to be so grateful for peace.
Hearing your laugh, you’ll almost think you now take survival for granted.

Still, you’ll modify slightly, deny your every inclination, 
and distort your all to your 90%, shifting 10% for ghosts who bullied you before.
You’ll feel your obedience to past absurd commands,
not as a fact of life, but as so silly, 
like the sort of thing that can be changed. You’ll see it’s so sad.

You’ll notice you were right to compare yourself to a wounded dog.
You’ll recall how they stared while you cried, looked you in the eye,
and angrily repeated that safety doesn’t exist, 
yet that it’s opposite, danger, didn’t exist within.

You’ll rekindle rage that they, without slightest excuse,
let you be treated such destructive ways.
You’ll relearn that it wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t play their game 
well enough to stop their orchestration.

You’ll remember that you always deserved
common decency, human dignity, 
regardless of how well you could 
fend for your life. 

You’ll wonder how many years of carving new paths
it will take to fill these well-worn channels up with dust.
You’ll realize the smoke didn’t just suffocate, but poisoned your lungs-
You’ll suddenly know that the next time someone hits you, you’ll run.

10 thoughts on “When You Leave

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