The first time I screamed,
I stopped when I felt guilty.

The sixteenth time, I stopped
when I felt like I’d gone mad.

The hundredth time, I screamed ’til I felt
I’d shown myself to be too insane to come back from it,

so I just kept screaming, until I recalled
that the only thing insane or wrong about this was that I kept trying,

and so as I’d reclaimed my days,
I reclaimed my nights.



(title combines phrases from “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner reworked into third person)