The first time I screamed,
I stopped when I felt guilty.

The sixteenth time, I stopped
when I felt like I’d gone mad.

The hundredth time, I screamed ’til I felt
I’d shown myself to be too insane to come back from it

so just let myself keep screaming
until I recalled

that the only thing insane or wrong about me
had been that I’d kept trying.

And so as I’d reclaimed my days,
I thus reclaimed my nights.



(title combines phrases from “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner reworked into third person)