When I was three, I wanted the colorful, fun-shaped
cereal with the kids’ commercial, but my mom said,
you won’t like that, and I said, I will, so she said, fine,
and she got it, but I didn’t like it.
Tag: OCD
Chamberlin (prompt: The Heaviness of Winter from Hannah Boutilier)
My 97 beats-per-minute heart
doesn’t know it could pendulum to deep
freeze response, and I have envied those
who can spare some fear
for the dark, but I, too, do
become more fearful
in it,
so I know a full, but only a full,
insomni
i let my mind anxiety
in the moonlight
for hours.
four hours.
i’m well aware
it hurts,
not helps,
nor saves. it’s about
the work it’d take
Boxes
He said, You’re the most complex person I
know, and I said, Thank you,
I have complex trauma.
Bargaining
I talk to you sometimes,
and make you say the dumbest things,
things that you would never say,
because every time I make you say
Fight or Flight
My little brain
thinks it can help,
Ruminate
I apologize in my mind,
endless intentional scenes,
then slip into fantasies of you
rubbing the base of my skull on a table.
Rocks
I feel the cold stone beneath my toes,
and I feel I exist outside of me,
on the surface of this body they’ll label
Lydia and point to once I’m dead.
My eyes close. I stare at my eyelids,
and now I feel I’m inside of me—
Oh, help! Please, someone,
get me out!
I inside and outside of me…
Is me my body? Then who am I?
Me might be nothing, for that’s what I see
every single time I blink.Read More »
Sanity
We all stand
on the same polka dotted mat.
You stomp the colored spots
like they’re disco-balls. You’re effortless,
the game’s commands flowing through
your veins. Your instinct: Graceful dance.
I start
with the center,
but one spot cannot hold two limbs!
So all that comes next
is a jumble-Read More »
Genuine
I am in love enough with details
to be OCD, a poet, self-aware, far too engaged all the time
with every milliquiver of my fibers,
and I think I’m understood,
that my intentionality is seen,
that my terms and movements are known as technical.
But I’ve taught no soul my tongue;
if I do go noticed, I go labeled as odd,
and honestly, nobody cares! They are not in love with me.
And why would they be? I am captivated
by details. I am busy. Making good choices.
Alphabet Ravine 