Assurance

Perhaps this preacher is self-assured
because he’s oblivious
to all he didn’t earn.

He shoves me condemnation,
though I’m not sure why.

I’ve slowly learned
not to obey this anxiety he sells me
for the price of my soul.

Weekly, I reassure myself
that I would obey a better voice,

but in fear I ask, if my faith
only soothes, does it lack works, dead?

This day, I finally grasp
that if this white man isn’t god,
and the oily logic from this pulpit isn’t god’s words,

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Gracia

                                               And grace

slapped me

                      across the face

                                              and I didn’t know

what to do 

                      with it.

I tried to give it back ‘cuz I didn’t want it,

but, oh, grace knew me better than that.

I tried to give it back ‘cuz I didn’t deserve it,

but grace knew herself well as well.

                                              The skin on my cheeks started 

tingling,

                     burning- 

                                              sudden, foreign, 

strange, 

                    “Make it stop!”

But we can’t make such strength do nothing,

and grace was after me,

so I ran, but, oh, it was before me too-

Alpha, Omega,

“I am that I am”.