The first time I screamed,
I stopped when I felt guilty.
The sixteenth time, I stopped
when I felt like I’d gone mad.
The hundredth time, I screamed ’til I felt
I’d shown myself to be too insane to come back from it
Category: Systemic Dysfunction
100
old words, new ways
different chapter, same change
always some cents short
Must Be Fear
Your irises always sing an aqua harmony,
but I cannot make out their shades when you
sit me down to hear your tale.
If the tension in the air is any clue, there must be fear dancing
in the wrinkles around your eyes,
but I am trying to count colors. I focus to discern.
Gaslight
You single-handedly lay and stack each strand
of the haystack.
I burn these allergens down one by one.
You wave the needle in my face
like an escape hatch,
burn through your accusations one by one-
narrative
I examine all the women who aren’t needy whores.
I see my reflection and hear their affirmations,
and start to think that maybe I’m no needy whore myself,
until I fear these women are just whores like me-
identity
not quite a train wreck
but a train that keeps starting and stopping
going the wrong way on the track
and isn’t it sad?
trying not to have an adjective
the hoe and the manwhore
My lies loved yours.
Our scars and alter egos danced,
and your ghost rolled over, straddling mine.
I found a shield in a linguistic sword;Read More »
When You Leave
You will relax into the safety. Your biological rhythms will sort themselves out.
You will become so happy. You’ll gush with excitement
then begin to see how strange it sounds to be so grateful for peace.
Hearing your laugh, you’ll almost think you now take survival for granted.
she keeps throwing around the term abuse
It was, of course, after the pastor said
that emotional memory can make up details that seem to fit the feeling we felt,
and after you confided in me all about your power to cave-
how you are her sane and grace, while she’s stuck irrational,
but you understand- because I understand! I always understand.
Read More »
one-way streets
You’re walking on eggshells, and everything you do to try to make it better backfires,
since some people don’t want to be satisfied.
Vindictive vendettas taken out on you,
like some people need something to be mean to,
and if they see you as a person, you can’t be their thing,
so they call you a problem and use you for their pain,
when their hate is their own fault,
and there’s nothing you can do
to make someone understand what they choose not to-Read More »
Alphabet Ravine 